Guilford County Schools has reached the most ludicrous, but always most likely, outcome to the long-running Oak Ridge Elementary School mystery: no smoking gun as to the cause of the symptoms reported for years by teachers and students; no one willing to take the legal risk of even suggesting one, or of declaring the entire incident a case of mass hysteria; and school administrators, despite having spent in the neighborhood of $1.5 million on the school, scurrying to send students back to the school, which has been closed since June.

The four-year-long legal, environmental and medical farce reached its height of asininity at the school board's meeting on Tuesday, Dec. 1, when paid-by-the-hour school board attorney Jill Wilson dope-slapped school board member Paul Daniels and Guilford County Schools Chief Operations Officer Leo Bobadilla for even talking about talking about what is actually wrong, or not wrong, with the school. Oak Ridge students have been split among three other schools since a wave of headaches, respiratory problems and other symptoms forced its closure.

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